Say My Name. I SAID SAY MY NAME.

Today was one of those days that you want to call in to your job and risk your vacation time for a little peace and quiet.  And a bottle of wine at 10 am.  Since I decided to be responsible I figured I had two choices. I could either A) crawl into my manager’s office and explain in long lengthy detail the Ebola symptoms I’ve experienced in the last 24 hours and cross my fingers he’d let me go home for the day, or B) find some good music to tap my toe to until the feeling of wanting to curl up under my desk and spoon the recycling bin passed.

Being the company gal that I am, I chose to brace myself and find some music to jam too. Then the heavens opened and the universe gave me the most precious gift one could receive on a day like this. It gave me the Spice Girls Pandora station. Holy sh*tballs.

I began promptly with “Spice Up Your Life”. I swear on my first born second born Tucker than no one can listen to this song without getting up from your chair and bouncing around the room with a hair brush.  Or stapler, depending on your location.  Bless their hearts. Those girl's platforms and pleather danced their way into my psyche and before I knew it I was on a stage with bright lights and screaming fans. I was a Spice Girl AND I WAS AWESOME.  Click on the link below to indulge.  I won't tell a soul.  Promise.




The next diddy Pandora gifted me with was none other than a track from those saucy divas Destiny’s Child and their super mega hit from the 90’s “Say My Name”. They broke onto my early morning scene with their take-that-mother-effer song and made me feel like kicking every dude within reach in the…ummm…SHINS.  Here's the video in the event it's been 10 years since you heard the tune (which is highly likely):




Let me give you some insight into The Romantic History Of Lindsey. I met my husband when I was 19, fell in love immediately, and never looked back. He’s a nice guy. He's hot. Not a cheater, liar, or swindler. He Says My Name on a regular basis and I like it.

My history prior to Husbo was a very nice boy in high school who informed me of his crush by shoving a mixed tape full of Marvin Gaye and Ginuwine into my hands after Chemistry. He brought me soup and a beanie baby when I had the flu. Flowers on every date. As soon as I recovered from said flu, I promptly broke up with him because our last date consisted of “parking “ at a church and making out long enough to draw hearts in the windows when we were done. Then I got the flu. You can see why, although he was the boy every teenage girl dreams of, I had to end it. I had Dave Matthews concerts to go to and pot to smoke in my friend’s attic. Aw.

Clearly I have never been in a position to know what it feels like to have your heart ripped out, stomped on, then casually tossed aside. Yet, when I belted out the lyrics (in my head) to this “Say My Name” song I swear to god, I knew what it felt like ya'll. That’s how good Destiny’s Child is. Even when you’ve only ever dated nice boys who treated you right, when they sing about boys running game and acting shady and not calling me baby,  I felt them. That is the power of a good song my friends.

Amen and hallelujah for Pandora. It makes my days spent in a flesh colored cube under fluorescent lights not so bad. If you were a person Pandora, I would insist you meet me for a beer. Then I would toast to you and get you drunk on Bud Light.  Cheers!

Back to Basics

I'm curled up at my cozy desk this morning thinking about last weekend and how perfect it was.  I've officially had two full time jobs for a month, which explains my urgency in getting out in the woods for a few days.  Eric and I are doing a great job transitioning through this new phase of me not being home 6-7 nights a week every other week but I knew as of last weekend we'd had enough.  We needed some time together without the distractions of laundry, yard work, and errand running.

So, off to the woods we went!  A few years ago we found a fantastic campsite among the redwoods in Sierra National Forest.  It's a half hour drive from Oakhurst, CA which is a cute little town full of antique shops and cafe's.  Perfect.

We live in the Central Valley of California and the temperatures hover around 110 this time of year.  Eric's job includes commuting to the Bay Area several days a week as well as working in non-air conditioned buildings where contruction a-plenty is happening.  Which requires a hard hat.  And steel-toed boots.  You can imagine his glee when I suggested we spend two days outdoors with little to no protection from the elements.  *snicker*

In true Eric fashion he rallied immediately and helped me fill our truck bed with two days worth of necessities when living in the woods.

We arrived Friday afternoon and had our camp set up in less than an hour.  I packed light in the hopes that set up and clean up would be quick and painless.  We got a great site right next to the creek surrounded by huge redwoods.  The perfect ratio of sun to shade.  Here's a peek at our digs:

                                       

   The view from our fire pit and picnic table. We heard water trickling through this creek all day and night.  *sigh*

     Our camp chairs, cooler, and tent.  The tent was close enough to the creek to hear the water in the creek at night..  

Wicket trying to decide if we're crazy for dragging her from the comfort of A/C and cozy dog beds every few feet to sleep and play in the dirt.  She came around eventually.  

Camping essentials.  Cold beer and citronella candles for those of us who are prone to getting eaten alive by skeeters.  

Saturday night's feast.  Yummy steaks that marinated all day in beer and seasonings, biscuits, baked potatoes, and salad.  Doesn't dinner always taste better while you're camping?  

Candle light dinner, outdoors, next to a creek, at dusk.  Yes, please!

Clean plates all around.  Naturally.  

Since we left the tent fly off we fell asleep under the stars and woke up to this every morning.  It was just as amazing as it sounds folks.  I highly recommend losing the tent fly if weather permits.  It made all the difference.  

My biggest recommendation when camping is to have a comfortable bed.  Our friend Claire let us borrow her big cushy sleeping mats and we have the BEST sleeping bags we got from my father and step-mother as a wedding gift.  I slept like a dream, Eric...meh.  It was as comfortable as it could be in a tent and he soldiered through the stiffness every morning like a champion.  I could definitely get used to this though, so I hope he comes around.  *fingers crossed*

We had a great time sitting around the campfire catching up, making plans, and making each other laugh.  Speaking of laughing, the first night we were there it had gotten pretty late and I was making myself a s'more.  The campground had gotten quiet and folks were tucked in, and while assembling said s'more felt something sticky on my leg.  Since it was dark as pitch, I assumed it was a rogue marshmallow that I dropped on my knee.  I picked at it for a few seconds but couldn't get it off.  THEN I REALIZED IT WAS A HUGE GRASSHOPPER THE SIZE OF A PTERODACTYL.  Not kidding.  It looked huge, and prehistoric, and I screamed bloody murder.  See the image below for reference.  It was ridiculous.  The bug and the screaming.  

(image credit)

 I apologized to our neighbors the next morning who were gracious enough to say they hadn't heard a thing (they were in a primo travel trailer) and laughed at my description of the creature that befell me that evening.  Then they let us borrow forks for our steak dinner.  Camping + Neighbors With  A Sense Of Humor And Cutlery = Good Times. 

Wicket was a trooper this weekend too.  Sissy-La-La has become accustomed to her lifestyle that includes dirt free water, cushions and blankets every few feet, and a choice of indoor/outdoor napping.  She powered through after the first few hours and came home as dirty and happy as we did.  I'll leave you with the images below.  She was obviously named after her resemblance to a certain Ewok from Star Wars, but just for fun here is a comparison.  All she was missing was her headdress (she actually has one!) and her spear.  She would've been building tree forts and hunting for dinner if we'd been there one more night.  I just know it.  

Logray from Star Wars

Wicket

I can't wait to start planning the next camping trip.  So far it looks like the weekend after Thanksgiving, so keep your eyes peeled for more adventures from The Lamer Clan!

New Year New Outlook

Whew! It's 2012 ya'll! Does anyone else get hurled into January and embrace the quiet like I do? The holidays at Casa de Lamer are always a blast. Hubbin' and I have more Christmas spirit than a passel of elves so we make the most of every.single.moment. this time of year.

We had so much dang spirit we decorated TWO TREES. That's right boys and girls...TWO TREES. We've been collecting ornaments for 10 years and this Christmas we realized that our usual six foot beauty proudly displayed in the front window of our little cottage would simply not suffice for our collection of memories. So we upgraded. And I mean upgraded. In addition to the six footer in the front window (because we couldn't bear the thought of not seeing a tree every time we pulled into the driveway) we acquired a 10 foot monster for the living room. She was a beaut I tell ya. *sigh*

We had a blast Christmas morning opening the thoughtful and exciting gifts we'd gotten for each other. Since there's no kiddos in the casa Hubbin' and I have a great time shopping for one another. Homeboy outdid himself this year with the gifties. A La Creuset dutch oven and an amazing labradorite necklace to name a few! We snuggled in with the kitties and pup for a while then wound down the day with Dominoes pizza at the sister's with our adorable niece and nephew.

Back to being hurled into the new year. Wowzers. It's been a doozy. I'm facing a lot of big decisions this month and am trying desperately to not over think said decisions and get caught up in the fear of change. I am usually change's biggest fan! Change has always worked out for me so I'm struggling with where this fear is coming from. For now I'm chalking it up to getting older and more jaded. I've given myself until January 31st to get a grip on these things and act.

So it is written, so shall it be done.

Being an adult is tough shit sometimes...can I get an amen?!?!?!

In the meantime I hope anyone who finds themselves wandering onto my "little patch of dirt" here is in good health, excited for new beginnings, and having a blast doing what YOU do.

I'll keep ya posted on my changes as I move through them. Until we meet again...cheers to you and 2012! TOOT TOOT!

'Tis an Anniversary Ya'll!

Today is my six year anniversary with my adorably sweet and oh so sexy hubbin'. Man, I love this guy. It was love at first sight for me. The minute I saw him, I saw us together. It took a little longer for Eric to realize our fate...but thankfully he was ready to jump in with both feet pretty early into our relationship.

We get asked often...what's your Secret? Our quiet faithfulness and love for each other is apparent to a lot of people (so we're told about as often as we meet someone new). So, our Secret. Hmmmmm...

If you'd asked either of us three months ago we would've shrugged our shoulders. You see, it was a rough year for us. We became disconnected in a way we haven't dealt with in our 10 years together. After several occasions of hurt feelings and bruised egos we slowly became a bit numb where the other was concerned.

This all came to a head in what I now refer to as the "Come To Jesus Talk". A simple breakdown in communication that I know many couples deal with daily. One text message sent in frustration and I was a puddle of emotion in my tiny cube at work. I know this sounds a little dramatic...tears over a text message you're thinking? You have to understand that Eric and I only text hilariously ridiculous thoughts or quotes, or what time we'll be home. We've never sent a text or left a message in anger. This was very new territory for us.

Thankfully, Eric and I are awesome at communicating, even if it takes us a minute to get around to it. We spent four hours that evening replaying the last six months. Each of us considerate of the other's thoughts, opinions, and perspectives. So that's one Secret I suppose. We genuinely care enough to spend a few hours talking it out. Sometimes it takes a while folks. Six months of ambivalence usually means there is a lot that has been left unsaid.

After hours of rehashing the hurt feelings and moments where we'd hurt each other, we came to the next Secret. The genuine apology. Neither of us is stingy with an apology. A genuine apology. It can't be overstated how important a genuine apology is. You see, a genuine apology is not only saying your sorry, but a promise to be more mindful in the future surrounding that particular behavior. Eric and I both agree that one of the most sincere forms of respect is an apology when you've made a mistake.

So, a few good talks, and three sessions with an AMAZING marriage counselor later, we're back and better than ever!!!! That's the other Secret I think. Recognize that although you love each other and want things to get back to normal ASAP...you might need help. Our marriage counseling experience ended up being an extremely cathartic experience for us. We both enjoyed the experience equally and still love talking about what a great experience that was for us as individuals as well as a married couple.

So, as I woke up this morning in our cozy bed I was grateful for a few things.

1. I have a super good looking husband who has my oh-so-favorite look in a boy. Shaved head, goatee, tall, and built like a brick shithouse (as I get back to my southern roots and sayings). I still have a crush on this man and get butterflies in my stomach when I see him...especially after a shave.

2. This boy whose physical strength has yet to be outdone by any other man I've known, also has a very kind heart. He's sensitive in the most masculine of ways.

3. He picked me. I tell you this friends, there is nothing more reassuring and wonderful than the feeling you get when the man of your dreams picks you. *sigh*

This morning I came across the most beautiful piece of writing I've seen in a while. I dedicate this to my sweet hubbin. I love you. I loved you the minute I saw you, and I'll be darned if it doesn't keep getting better.

You are my favorite Buddy...I soooooo love loving you!!!!

THE INVITATION

by Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Indian Elder, May 1994

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for,
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon, I want to
know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!

I want to know if you can sit with pain,
mine or your own, without moving to hide or fake it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with
wildness and let ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without
cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being
human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you’re telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself,
if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.

I want to know if you can see beauty, even if it’s not pretty every day,
and if you can source your life from God’s presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the
edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “YES!”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, wary and
bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you are, how you came to be here. I want to know if you
will stand in the center of fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself,
and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Saturday...lovely to see you again!

It's Saturday morning and I am in heaven. Steaming mug of hazelnut coffee with a smidge of hazelnut creamer and my favorite quilt wrapped around me. Ahhhhh....

Wicket is snoring softly next to me and hubbin is quietly on his laptop a few feet away.

We.Love.Saturday.

There are a dozen things we could do today all of which sound fun and perfect. Planting flowers in the garden, finding a new spot for lunch, searching our town for the perfect backyard water feature, the possibilities are endless.

Until we decide what to do with this day I am so grateful to be here. The Wailin' Jennys are "wailin" in the background and we are in no hurry. We've been waiting for this morning for five whole days.

Spruce it up!

Hello! Long time no post!

I thought I'd share one of my favorite ways to make rooms in my home feel good! Now that spring is here all of our neighborhood markets are full of gorgeous cut flowers! Flowers add texture and a natural punch to any room. I've put cut flowers in my kitchen, living room, and even the bathroom! I love having them in a spot I see when I walk into my home. There's nothing like coming home from a crazy day at work and seeing fresh cut flowers the moment you walk in. This is one of the key ingredients to making your home a sanctuary. It's a small investment that will make a tremendous difference in the mood and energy of your home!

I got these beauties for $3.50 at Trader Joe's and they're four days old but still lovely! Tip for tulips: cut the bottom of the stem when you get them home and peel off any extra leaves. Just put the very tip of the stem in the water and they'll last for a week or more!

Enjoy!

Does it feel good?!?!?

Every Friday I get asked by my gang of friends from work to go out for happy hour. I used to go pretty regularly and always had a great time. Lately I've been turning down invites so I can go home and hang with hubbin. To say Eric and I are homebodies would be a gross underestimate. We've cancelled our last two vacations because we'd rather be home. There is absolutely nowhere we'd rather be than in our adorable (if I do say so myself!) suburban track house. The minute I walk into my house I immediately feel a sense of calm come over me and I just feel better.



The constant goal for any place we've ever lived is that whatever space we have lived in, big or small, it's a sanctuary. Not just for us, but our guests. I've always described my decorating style as "an invitation to curl up with a blanket and a book" and just relax. I want folks to feel at home and good when they come over. I think of homes I went to as a kid where you just immediately felt good when you walked it. They weren't the most expensive homes, even the biggest, but they always felt right.



Lately I've been doing a little research to further my efforts at making my home feel perfect and I've come up with a few things. I get my decorating ideas anywhere from feng shui to my favorite Real Housewives on Bravo. If it feels right...who cares where it came from or how "granola" it is?



The first thing I did when we moved in was commit to making my bedroom a place that is soley for sleeping and spending time with my husband. Before minds start wandering too far into the weeds, when I say spending time, I mean genuine time. *wink* I know this is going to sound crazy for a lot of you, but we don't have a tv in the bedroom. Shock of all shocks! We debate every now and then about getting one but at the end of the day I stand firm on no tv. It's been great for us because time we would've spent watching tv is spent talking about our day, making plans, reading, or sleeping. Imagine that?



Another recent addition to the bedroom is one of those handy dandy machines that make various nature sounds. I got it from my sister in law who had intially bought it for her newborn. I am the world's lightest sleeper, and this thing is my holy grail. OMG! I love it! For those of you who are into feng shui you can sympathize with this. My air conditioner unit is right outside my bedroom wall in the backyard. When you're married to a man who prefers the temp to be somewhere around 72 degrees and you live in the desert you can count on that thing always running. It's a nightmare! On top of the electrical currents that are involved, the thing is noisy! This little machine has insured a restful night's sleep for me since I got it. I prefer the ocean sound, but it also has rain, thunderstorm, babbling brook, it goes on and on.



My last tip for making sure your bedroom is a sanctuary is to regularly dust and vacuum. I know those of you that know me are thinking "easy to say when your husband is OCD" but it's so important. Vacuuming can lift the energy in any room immediately and dusting makes a huge difference as well. Allergies and congestion can be combated so easily by a good dusting once a week. Plus, it feels better. When you walk into your bedroom you should immediately start to relax and unwind. Who can do that with crumbs in the carpet and an inch of dust on the furniture? I have two cats, a dog, and dry skin. Not a recipe for spotless furniture do those conditions make! It takes me about five minutes to dust my room once a week and with the conditions described, it needs it once a week. Sometimes I get busy and I skip a week and I get tell a HUGE difference. Commit to doing it for two weeks in a row and I PROMISE you will feel a difference!