Thursday, September 6, 2012


Today was one of those days that you want to call in to your job and risk your vacation time for a little peace and quiet.  And a bottle of wine at 10 am.  Since I decided to be responsible I figured I had two choices. I could either A) crawl into my manager’s office and explain in long lengthy detail the Ebola symptoms I’ve experienced in the last 24 hours and cross my fingers he’d let me go home for the day, or B) find some good music to tap my toe to until the feeling of wanting to curl up under my desk and spoon the recycling bin passed.

Being the company gal that I am, I chose to brace myself and find some music to jam too. Then the heavens opened and the universe gave me the most precious gift one could receive on a day like this. It gave me the Spice Girls Pandora station. Holy sh*tballs.

I began promptly with “Spice Up Your Life”. I swear on my first born second born Tucker than no one can listen to this song without getting up from your chair and bouncing around the room with a hair brush.  Or stapler, depending on your location.  Bless their hearts. Those girl's platforms and pleather danced their way into my psyche and before I knew it I was on a stage with bright lights and screaming fans. I was a Spice Girl AND I WAS AWESOME.  Click on the link below to indulge.  I won't tell a soul.  Promise.

The next diddy Pandora gifted me with was none other than a track from those saucy divas Destiny’s Child and their super mega hit from the 90’s “Say My Name”. They broke onto my early morning scene with their take-that-mother-effer song and made me feel like kicking every dude within reach in the…ummm…SHINS.  Here's the video in the event it's been 10 years since you heard the tune (which is highly likely):

Let me give you some insight into The Romantic History Of Lindsey. I met my husband when I was 19, fell in love immediately, and never looked back. He’s a nice guy. He's hot. Not a cheater, liar, or swindler. He Says My Name on a regular basis and I like it.

My history prior to Husbo was a very nice boy in high school who informed me of his crush by shoving a mixed tape full of Marvin Gaye and Ginuwine into my hands after Chemistry. He brought me soup and a beanie baby when I had the flu. Flowers on every date. As soon as I recovered from said flu, I promptly broke up with him because our last date consisted of “parking “ at a church and making out long enough to draw hearts in the windows when we were done. Then I got the flu. You can see why, although he was the boy every teenage girl dreams of, I had to end it. I had Dave Matthews concerts to go to and pot to smoke in my friend’s attic. Aw.

Clearly I have never been in a position to know what it feels like to have your heart ripped out, stomped on, then casually tossed aside. Yet, when I belted out the lyrics (in my head) to this “Say My Name” song I swear to god, I knew what it felt like ya'll. That’s how good Destiny’s Child is. Even when you’ve only ever dated nice boys who treated you right, when they sing about boys running game and acting shady and not calling me baby,  I felt them. That is the power of a good song my friends.

Amen and hallelujah for Pandora. It makes my days spent in a flesh colored cube under fluorescent lights not so bad. If you were a person Pandora, I would insist you meet me for a beer. Then I would toast to you and get you drunk on Bud Light.  Cheers!

Monday, September 3, 2012

Back to Basics

I'm curled up at my cozy desk this morning thinking about last weekend and how perfect it was.  I've officially had two full time jobs for a month, which explains my urgency in getting out in the woods for a few days.  Eric and I are doing a great job transitioning through this new phase of me not being home 6-7 nights a week every other week but I knew as of last weekend we'd had enough.  We needed some time together without the distractions of laundry, yard work, and errand running.

So, off to the woods we went!  A few years ago we found a fantastic campsite among the redwoods in Sierra National Forest.  It's a half hour drive from Oakhurst, CA which is a cute little town full of antique shops and cafe's.  Perfect.

We live in the Central Valley of California and the temperatures hover around 110 this time of year.  Eric's job includes commuting to the Bay Area several days a week as well as working in non-air conditioned buildings where contruction a-plenty is happening.  Which requires a hard hat.  And steel-toed boots.  You can imagine his glee when I suggested we spend two days outdoors with little to no protection from the elements.  *snicker*

In true Eric fashion he rallied immediately and helped me fill our truck bed with two days worth of necessities when living in the woods.

We arrived Friday afternoon and had our camp set up in less than an hour.  I packed light in the hopes that set up and clean up would be quick and painless.  We got a great site right next to the creek surrounded by huge redwoods.  The perfect ratio of sun to shade.  Here's a peek at our digs:

   The view from our fire pit and picnic table. We heard water trickling through this creek all day and night.  *sigh*

     Our camp chairs, cooler, and tent.  The tent was close enough to the creek to hear the water in the creek at night..  

Wicket trying to decide if we're crazy for dragging her from the comfort of A/C and cozy dog beds every few feet to sleep and play in the dirt.  She came around eventually.  

Camping essentials.  Cold beer and citronella candles for those of us who are prone to getting eaten alive by skeeters.  

Saturday night's feast.  Yummy steaks that marinated all day in beer and seasonings, biscuits, baked potatoes, and salad.  Doesn't dinner always taste better while you're camping?  

Candle light dinner, outdoors, next to a creek, at dusk.  Yes, please!

Clean plates all around.  Naturally.  

Since we left the tent fly off we fell asleep under the stars and woke up to this every morning.  It was just as amazing as it sounds folks.  I highly recommend losing the tent fly if weather permits.  It made all the difference.  

My biggest recommendation when camping is to have a comfortable bed.  Our friend Claire let us borrow her big cushy sleeping mats and we have the BEST sleeping bags we got from my father and step-mother as a wedding gift.  I slept like a dream, Eric...meh.  It was as comfortable as it could be in a tent and he soldiered through the stiffness every morning like a champion.  I could definitely get used to this though, so I hope he comes around.  *fingers crossed*

We had a great time sitting around the campfire catching up, making plans, and making each other laugh.  Speaking of laughing, the first night we were there it had gotten pretty late and I was making myself a s'more.  The campground had gotten quiet and folks were tucked in, and while assembling said s'more felt something sticky on my leg.  Since it was dark as pitch, I assumed it was a rogue marshmallow that I dropped on my knee.  I picked at it for a few seconds but couldn't get it off.  THEN I REALIZED IT WAS A HUGE GRASSHOPPER THE SIZE OF A PTERODACTYL.  Not kidding.  It looked huge, and prehistoric, and I screamed bloody murder.  See the image below for reference.  It was ridiculous.  The bug and the screaming.  

 I apologized to our neighbors the next morning who were gracious enough to say they hadn't heard a thing (they were in a primo travel trailer) and laughed at my description of the creature that befell me that evening.  Then they let us borrow forks for our steak dinner.  Camping + Neighbors With  A Sense Of Humor And Cutlery = Good Times. 

Wicket was a trooper this weekend too.  Sissy-La-La has become accustomed to her lifestyle that includes dirt free water, cushions and blankets every few feet, and a choice of indoor/outdoor napping.  She powered through after the first few hours and came home as dirty and happy as we did.  I'll leave you with the images below.  She was obviously named after her resemblance to a certain Ewok from Star Wars, but just for fun here is a comparison.  All she was missing was her headdress (she actually has one!) and her spear.  She would've been building tree forts and hunting for dinner if we'd been there one more night.  I just know it.  

Logray from Star Wars


I can't wait to start planning the next camping trip.  So far it looks like the weekend after Thanksgiving, so keep your eyes peeled for more adventures from The Lamer Clan!